Froggy...adapted & sung by Tara & Colm on the day

Ciara went a-courtin' and she did well, uh huh, uh huh
Ciara went a-courtin' and she did well, uh huh, uh huh
Ciara went a-courtin' and she did well, for she met Sean and he is swell, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh

Sean went a-courtin' and he did good, uh huh, uh huh
Sean went a-courtin' and he did good, uh huh, uh huh
Sean went a-courtin' and he did good, for Ciara's the best catch in the neighborhood, uh huh, uh huh, uh huh

So now they've tied the wedding knot, uh huh, uh huh
Now they've tied the wedding knot, uh huh, uh huh
Now they've tied the wedding knot, and they've even bought a travel cot, uh huh, uh huh

Now their courtin' days are in the past, uh huh, uh huh
Their courtin' days are in the past, uh huh, uh huh
Their courtin' days are in the past, cause they've found true love and it will last, uh huh, uh huh

The wedding

The wedding was fab. I'd such a great time. I couldn't have had a better day. The only hiccup was that I had chronic insomnia the night before, got 3 hours sleep, and felt like a zombie all morning. Once I walked down the aisle the tiredness lifted and by the time I'd a few drinks at dinner I was on cloud nine and lasted until 4 in the morning.

Seán was gorgeous...I wanted to run up the aisle to him. The bridesmaids were beautiful, everyone looked fantastic. The weather was nice - dry and warm with sunny spells. The photographer was a bit bossy but Seán liked him. The flowers and cake (a la Sean's mum and aunt) were perfect. The food in Coolbawn was delicious and the musicians, both church and evening, were brilliant. None of the things I'd worried about (like dress being too tight, me being cold or shoes hurting) happened in the end. The mass booklet had an embarrassing number of mistakes in it, but never mind.

Considering the minimal effort I put into organising quite a lot of the wedding, it was a miracle it all turned out so perfectly and we all looked so beautiful. It was such a lovely day, I'm feeling slightly bereaved now its over! Having said that, would I go back and do it all again? Not in a million years. I now see the best reason for marriage being for life...you only have to organise a wedding once!

Wedding jitters

It was bound to happen at some stage, I couldn't maintain my cool as a breeze attitude forever. Yesterday I woke up, watched a bit of the US open final which was very exciting and had the unfortunate effect of increasing my adrenaline levels or something, cause by the time I'd had my breakfast and gotten dressed I was sick with nerves. I spent the day with Tar and Ellen and gradually calmed down as Tara promised she could source valium if it got too bad, while I got more and more things ticked off the list.

I collected the dress (which had shrunk in the dry-cleaning and needed last minute alterations) and I collected the rings (which up until monday were lost in the post somewhere between France and here). I okayed the mass booklets, bought last minute stuff and got my nails done. By the end of the day (after a half bottle of wine but no valium) I was back to my cool as a breeze self...ish.

So alls well that ends well...only one more day to go!

The pre-marriage course

We had our pre-marriage course in Tipperary town last weekend, on the sunniest warmest weekend we've had since June. Bits of it were fun...we'd to write a letter to each other that they will post to us as some point in the future, which was nice. Although if Sean is as inexpressive as usual the most I can expect is "Dear Ciara, hope you are well, love Sean" and a massive row will ensue! Fortunately, the course also covered conflict so we should be okay.

It didn't go into anything with too much depth, it felt a bit like a rubber stamping exercise. In each section we had to answer questions separately and then compare answers. Sean and I were in agreement with practically everything...which led to Sean wispering in my ear that we should be giving the course!

Bits of it were very, very painful. The sex module was cringe and the church/God module was like being back in school. At the end they made all of us stand in a circle, each couple had to light a candle and then read out a prayer. Anyway, its over and done with now, they didn't fail us so Operation Wedding is a go.

The hen

I'd a great time on the hen...one of the best days of my life. It was all a surprise -Clo and Tar wouldn't tell me a thing until something was about to happen. We went clay pigeon shooting, which I was terrible at...I got 3 out of 30 shots and a very bruised and sore shoulder. Sue, and to a lesser degree Justine, were fab at it. I got my hair done in Bellissimo in the afternoon. We stayed in Jurys and in the evening the girls locked me in the bathroom while they put on the outfits...which turned out to be fabulous star trek dresses...they had blue medical unforms and I had a red command uniform...coooool.

We had a lovely meal in the Cornstore and the girls quizzed me on Star Trek questions which I totally aced...I scoff at the pitifully easy earthling questions! We went to Clohessys and then the Sin Bin. We got lots of attention from people, including one Star Trek geek who tried and failed miserably to outwit me as an ST know-it-all...one guy who pleaded with Clo to beam him up and one guy who got really exciting and started singing the Batman theme at me when he saw me...na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, batman...moron!

Was great fun although my stomach was a bit quesy, so I didn't drink much except 3 pints of water, then spent the night going to the loo. So not much sleep and was wrecked on sunday, as expected.

Collected the dress

I collected the dress yesterday and its now in Clo's house. It looks like the outer layer has shrunk in the dry cleaning but I'm hoping that it will fix itself if I leave it hanging. Its great to have it in my possession. So exciting!

A dream

I'd a dream last night about the wedding ceremony. It was in a big cathedral in Peru. For some reason we decided to move it at the last minute. There was a rock band playing the hymns, there were no pew ends, I was wearing my wine blazer over my dress cause I was cold, the bridemaids were in red sequin dresses and for some reason Tara had put on about 4 stone and was bursting out the dress. To cap it all off, at the end of the ceremony, a horse and carriage came into the church to take us away, which in the dream I though was hilarious, because Sean has said on numerous occasions that he'd rather die than go around in a horse and carriage. It was a weird dream...where did Peru come from?

Post-holiday blues

I'm back from a week in Portugal and am having post holiday/monday morning blues. It was a lovely escape from wedding stuff for a whole week, the only work I had to do was on my tan, I'd definitely recommend it for brides-to-be. This time last week I was sunbathing by the pool, sipping Portugeuse beer and reading novels to my heart's content...heaven.

Now that I'm back, I am realising that the wedding is 3 and a half weeks away and I have loads to do, namely...print booklets, book hair/makeup & have trials, get hair accessories, make pew bows, arrange seating, arrange accommodation, finalise the menu, give people directions, book hotel in London, get teeth cleaned. I'm trying not to panic.

Of course the wedding diet went out the window while on holidays so I've to eat cereal for the next few weeks and to make it a hundred times worse, Clo has another week of it....probably sunbathing and sipping beer as I speak :<(

Dress fitting

I'd my first dress fitting today. I went in feeling guilty and sheepish, expecting to be given out to that I haven't lost a pound since I got the dress in may, and presuming they'd let it out. They said it doesn't need to be let out - that if they were taking it in they would take it in to what it currently is. I've my doubts, but I'm willing to go with their advice. They are just going to take it up and take it in under the arms.

I should be fine as long as I don't eat, drink, sit or kneel for the whole day...or climb stairs...or take deep breaths. There isn't even room for my magic sucky-iny underwear! The diet starts today, I promise. It was nice to put it on again though...its soooo pretty.

The mass booklet

I spent my weekend doing the mass booklet...now there's a sentence I never thought I'd ever say...or write...or do, for that matter. It actually wasn't as agonising as I thought it would be because I found a site that the kind people in Accord put together which was pretty much the dummy bride's guide to mass booklets. It was an online form that gave lots of drop down menus for every bit of the mass that you need to select and at the end it magically turned it into a mass booklet. It was so brilliant that I emailed Accord to tell them how marvellous they were...another something I never ever thought I'd do!

How on earth did anyone ever get married when there was no internet?

Rings & suits

The rings and suits are done. Sean is congratulating himself that it only took an hour to do both without appreciating that I'd gone on a scouting mission beforehand to minimise the inevitable head-scratching, humming and hawing that we seem to do whenever we have to make a wedding decision.

Sean's suit is black with ivory waistcoat and cravat. He looks lovely in it. We put him in tails but he looked like an undertaker.

So the rings are gold. Sean's is a plain solid one that probably all the straight guys pick immediately, just in case the jeweller might think they are gay if they look at any of the fancy ones. Mine is a russian wedding ring. A plain band didn't look right, this one looks nice with my engagement ring and nice on its own too...so I don't want to hear any "you can't do that" about it. I've always liked russian wedding rings.

Another phone bites the dust

I've lost my phone. Yet another phone has met its maker prematurely by being unlucky enough to have me as its owner. A history of my deplorable phone-caretaking record...the phone I just lost already had a brush with death when it fell from my back pocket into a toilet in a pub in Lahinch on the day Sean proposed. I swear that drink was not involved and I noticed the phone in the loo before I went.

The phone before that got rolled over by a bus when I dropped it outside Limerick station. Phone before that got wet when I went hillwalking in the Burren on the wetest day in Irish history. Phone before that was accidentally dropped (by me) into a mug of coffee...it was early, I'd just woken up, I was trying to do too many things with my hands.

There was also the phone 2 or 3 phones ago that just inexplicably died for no reason, I swear...that was the time I left my car keys in the Carphone Warehouse while I was buying a new phone, they closed up shop - I went to my car to discover I was locked out and worst of all...I'd a new phone with no numbers so I couldn't ring anyone!

Will I ever have a phone that just dies of old age? The society for the protection of phones is going to have to get a restraining order out against me :<(

Meet the parents

Mam finally met Sean's parents over the weekend. We brought them all to the tasting at Coolbawn - gave them a purpose so it wouldn't feel too awkward. I'm happy and surprised to report that Mam didn't embarrass me, Sean's parents didn't embarrass him...once they'd established a few nuns, priests and dancers of mutual acquantaince they were happy enough to chat away.

They were all delighted with Coolbawn, but Sean and I were a bit disappointed with the food, especially the main course. Fuelled by half a bottle of wine I overcame by natural shyness about sharing my doubts with the staff, who were lovely - very understanding, sympathetic and happy to pass on our views to the poor chef. He'll have plenty of time to work on his spit-generation between now and september. On the upside, we stayed the night and had a lovely time - accommodation was fab and breakfast was lovely.

We'll have to go out again and do more tasting before we settle on a menu...why, oh why did we pick somewhere so far away? All Sean's fault, of course.

The church music

A minor wedding rant...

A trad band played for the library at a conference dinner a few weeks ago. There were 4 of them and they played for 2 hours. I rang them up to see if they could do the church music for me. They quoted me double the price we paid them for the conference, they'll play for an hour and there will only be two of them there. So I'm getting half a band for half the time at twice the price! Grrr...wedding schmedding!

On the upside, after I got over my outrage I consulted my essential wedding forum groups to see what the going rate was, and discovered I'm getting the two musicians for the price that people normally pay for one musician. So I'm actually getting a good deal...I think. Actually I don't know...I'm confused...my head hurts.

Anyway its an Irish flute and a fiddler for the church...and of course Tara singing.

The entertainment

I'm a woman on a mission this week...mostly cause my boss is on holidays. I've the night time entertainment booked. Coolbawn recommended a guy with a guitar who does a lot of weddings for small groups - low key kind of entertainment. I rang him, he's available and affordable. I haven't heard him play so its kind of blind faith but he sounded like a very nice man.

He said people can get up and dance or not dance, whatever they want, and he's happy to do backing music for anyone who wants to sing a song. I said there would probably be a few mothers who would be up whether he liked it or not! I don't think wild horses and a muzzle will be enough to avoid a rendition of "Love changes everything". I must remember to tell him I've an aunt and a sister who do a unique version of "The Rose" so he can work on his backing vocals!

Photographers

I met 3 photographers yesterday and I'm torn between two of them. One of them does really good work – his photos are beautiful and the album is a storyboard thing which is all the rage apparently – but…I didn’t like his personality at all. He came across as bossy, a bit smarmy, like he thinks of himself as an artiste. The other guy was lovely – a real gentleman, calm, professional, seems very experienced – but…his photos are a bit ordinary and albums are quite traditional. Both were priced around the same and both have good recommendations in the wedding forums.

So do I go with the guy that will drive us mad all day but come up with the goods afterwards? He said he airbrushes the pictures…adds hair to the grooms, gets rid of crows feet for the bride…do they all do this? Is this the norm now? Sean is delighted, he has his vote, but it seems a bit dodgy to me.

And he didn't have the sense to say that crows-feet removal would obviously not be required in this instance!

Bridesmaid dresses acquired...& I didn't have to do a thing!

In a stroke of masterful genius I ticked another thing off the list yesterday without lifting a finger. Its all down to my wonderful, fantabulous bridesmaids, probably realising that if they didn't take control of their dress shopping they risked ending up wearing potato sacks on the day.

It all started in March, before I was even engaged. Clo bought a lovely black and ivory dress in the classily-named Dress Barn in Wrentham (ah Wrentham) the last time she was in Boston. After I bought my dress we put them together and decided they were perfect together - the styles complemented each other beautifully. Having checked Dress Barn online without success, Tara's most important bridesmaidly mission, should she choose to accept it, was to scoot out to Wrentham and acquire a second dress the minute she landed in Boston. And success! She got the second last one...there since March...in Wrentham...what are the odds?

Well done Tar, you're a gem! I have to say this wedding planning business is a breeze!

Bridesmaid-illas

Tara visited Ireland for the last 3 weeks and tried her best to light a fire under me, with some success. On the upside I now feel pressure to get things done, on the down side, I haven't actually gotten anything done since my last posting...except I got the shoes...hoorah! Okay, they were Tara's shoes and I had to take a stack of wedding folders, files & to-do lists as well, but at least I now have my "something borrowed"...and "old" (sorry Ta).

I tried on the dress for Tar & Clo and had a few moments of doubt...its all wrong, what was I thinking, I look like a whale, and so on. Not helped by bridesmaids making comments like "its definitely not traditional", "its a mature dress" and worst of all "Sean will love it" (i.e. your arse looks enormous). My doubts didn't last too long thankfully - I put their input down to jealousy (obviously) and fell back into the haze of bridal delusions of fabulousness that I've been living in since I said yes and made Sean the happiest man in the world!

Anyway, the 3 of us trooped to Coolbawn for lunch on saturday where my choice of venue was reaffirmed far more convincingly than the choice of dress - they thought it was wonderful. So we'd a lovely few weeks but I have a vague feeling that I should have overloaded them with a lot more bridesmaidly duties, if only to distract them from plotting the hen...

The wine

Forgot to say, we bought the wine...chablis and cote de rhone. Or rather Sean waited until I was out of the country before buying the wine. He got enough cases so that there will be a bottle for each person, including the babies. And he didn't negotiate on price! O'Briens saw him coming!

Then we brought a few bottles out to Oola and I got hammered with Sean's mother and sister over sunday dinner. Wine is deceptively easy to drink...there will be sore heads on 18th September.

Paperwork

Sean and I went off to the registry office and got our paperwork filled out. The registry office is in the HSE HQ in St Camillus's, so it had that depressing, health board feeling, like we were in the dole queue. We both came away appreciating our jobs more!

Anyway, after we persuaded registry woman that this was actually our first time getting married, we got a very very serious talking to about the seriousness of the paperwork and what big trouble we'll be in if we lose it, or forget it or find a typo in it at a later date. For any of the above, we'll have to slink back in with our heads hanging to explain ourselves. And for the love of God don't leave it with the priest! Got the feeling registry people think priests don't have a clue.

Anyway, we crossed all the t's and dotted all the i's and swore we weren't related to each other, so wedding is a go. She gave us all our paperwork in a nice little folder to bring with us on the day, mustn't forget.

Hmmm...wonder what I did with it.

So much to do, so little time...

And I spend the night playing with avatars!



Sooo pretty! And kind of like my dress, except cartoon Keeraweera is skinnier.

The Dress

I found the dress! Whoohoo. Its fabulous. I went shopping with Eileen and Mam. We went to two shops. The first one was ruled out when Mam asked could she use the bathroom and they said no, even though the shop was in their house so there was clearly a bathroom available that they wouldn't let her use. Boo.

The second was Virginia Bridal on Roches Street. They'd lovely stuff, I tried on lots but the last one just blew all the others away. I looked in the mirror and have to admit to feeling a very small unCiara-like lump in my throat. I've fallen into the classic bridal trap - going from thinking all the dresses looked the same to thinking I've found the one in a million thats different!

Its off-white, chiffon and floaty. The style is kind of Grecian and is very figure-hugging. If I put on a few pounds I'm in trouble. I felt like Ava Gardner or Marilyn Monroe in it...I have a suspicion it might be cause my bum looks enormous in it, but I've assurances from Mam and Eileen that thats not the case. I can't believe I picked a dress that accentuates my arse...Sean should be happy though.

Next step...Wedding dress shopping

Myself and Clo went wedding dress shopping on saturday, which was fun. Actually it was fun for me, kind of boring for Clo who should have brought a book or something. We went to 2 boutiques and I tried lots of different shapes and styles. Following this indepth scientifically sound sampling exercise, I can now safely say...they all looked the same to me! They were all lovely - you could get married in any of them and look very nice.

On the one hand I'm very relieved, cause it looks like the wedding dress process won't be like the venue hunting process, where I fell for the most expensive choice and had to back track a bit. On the other hand, I'm not sure if I should keep looking or just buy any old one and get another thing ticked off the list. I'm going to London for work later this week so will drop into the high street stores that have bridal sections, see if they have anything nice...bring it home on my Ryanair hand luggage.

Interesting to note the horror on the faces of bridal shop assistants when they heard the wedding date...eyes instantly dropped to my stomach to see if they would have to factor a bump into the dress fittings!

Date confirmed

Coolbawn wins! The date of thursday, 17th September 2009, is booked and confirmed...hoorah! We're getting married in Castleconnell Church (Sean got his way there) and having the meal in Coolbawn (I got my way with that one)...in the true spirit of marital compromising, we found a win-win resolution to our conflict.

Thank God its done! It was wrecking our heads...now I'm filled with a zen calm that the worst is over, despite people shrieking in horror "This Year?" when I tell them the date and what I haven't organized yet.

Venue links

The current shortlist is Bunratty Manor www.bunrattymanor.ie/ and Coolbawn Quay www.coolbawnquay.com/.

Step 1...find a venue

Actually, I suppose step 1 is really get engaged, followed by step 2...buy a ring. But those were easy steps, they happened naturally, blissfully. I was happily preoccupied with the joys of getting engaged and jewellery shopping rather than spending any time writing blogs, as requested by Tara (my sister in America) who feels like she's missing all the fuss. So the blog is only starting now, at the venue step.

I'm starting to wish I was in America missing all the fuss! After seeing 6 venues my head is addled. Its a pretty simple requirement...good food and accommodation for 40 people with a bit of charm and reasonably affordable...thats pretty much it. How did it get so complicated? After watching me with barely concealed alarm as I fell in love with Adare Manor (has to be november on monday, tuesday or wednesday!), Sean (my h2b!) talked me down to the land of the living. It was a nice idea while it lasted though.

So now its a short list of 2 slightly more affortable venues...Bunratty Manor (h2bs choice involving good food, nice accommodation and absolutely zero magic/fairytale/bridal charm) and Coolbawn Quay (my choice involving major bridal charm, fabulous accommodation and quality of food yet to be determined). We're eating in Coolbawn at the weekend...please, please, please let it be nice.

I'm starting to see why people say secret of good marriage is compromise...just as well I'm not married yet!